you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
How's work?
Spinning.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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