sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize