just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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