Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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