At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
