i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
