You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Someone signed my nipple.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
