You're my little dorito
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
