i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
