You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize