We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
