No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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