This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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