Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
