i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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