I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
