the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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