The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You are the jesus of drinking
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
