Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
