I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
are you so shy because you have an std?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
