so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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