I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
