hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
