Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
