I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
