Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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