Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
