so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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