I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize