Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
