Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
