omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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