yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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