I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Randomize
