their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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