like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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