he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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