one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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