Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
