u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
