What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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