he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
