3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
