Your tits are I can't wait for
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We had to coat check the pizza.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
