I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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