The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
