It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
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Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
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It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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