I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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