Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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