But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
