Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
