hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
