I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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