I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
