So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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