u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize